And despite all his efforts, he can't seem to win,
But it's not that he lives with the guilt and the shame—
He knows that he's purposely throwing the game.
REFRAIN
O holy one, give me a purified, sanctified heart;
O friend of sinners, teach me to find all I am
In all that thou art.
Cast not thy Spirit away from my side,
But make to know what it means
To live in the shadow of Christ, the lamb crucified.
I can't close my eyes, but I relive the evil I've done,
And I know that you're here, but I oftentimes feel so alone,
Christianity addict, chasing that spiritual high
But it seems that so often I'm living a sanctified lie.
BRIDGE
Cleanse me, and I shall be clean.
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow,
And I shall teach sinners the way they should go
Because it's the way, in thy grace, that I've seen.
You don't want my off'rings—no lambs, and no bulls, and no prayers that I spew—
But a heart that's contrite and that humbly will bow before you,
And that is the gift you have given to me:
A life that I'm able to pour out to thee.
—Zachary Pletan, based on Psalm 51
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I was introduced to Psalm 51 in Antonio Allegri's setting in Latin (Google Miserere mei deus). I wish more Christians knew the psalm. When you know what to look for, it's so very new testament. Have mercy upon me! according to thy lovingkindness. Create in me a clean heart. Thou desirest not sacrifice, but a broken and a contrite heart.
Contrary to some worship songs, Jesus didn't die to save you from your failure. He didn't die to save you from your shortcomings. He didn't die to fulfill your dreams or make you the person you want to be. You were a sinner, a rebel against God, a blasphemer shaking his fist at the force that confounded him. You were condemned to the depths of eternal hell, and Christ entered that hell and took the punishment you deserved. That's kinda the real message of Psalm 51—sin is that bad.
The other, realer message is the glorious one of sola gratia. Look at it; every time David opens his mouth about salvation or forgiveness, it's God that has to do it. Look at the ratio of God's works to David's (each number is a verse):
- God has to have mercy and blot out transgressions.
- God has to wash and cleanse.
- David can only admit he's a sinner.
- David sins; God judges.
- David was born a sinner.
- God has to make David know wisdom.
- God has to purge and wash.
- God has to make David hear joy and gladness. Only than can David rejoice.
- God chooses whether to hide his face or blot out iniquities.
- God has to create a clean heart and renew a right spirit.
- It is up to God whether David is in God's presence and has his holy spirit.
- God has to restore the joy of salvation and uphold with his spirit.
- Only after David has been restored can he evangelize others.
- God has to deliver from guilt; only then can David hymn his righteousness.
- God has to open the lips; only then can David praise him.
- David cannot offer sacrifices for pardon.
- God will not despise a broken spirit and contrite heart. (The implication of the next two verses is that God makes the spirit to break and the heart to be contrite.)
- God has to do good to Zion and Jerusalem.
- Only then can he be pleased with its sacrifices.
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I realize that this song does not do great justice to the above tome. I wrote it in a moment of profound (for me) contrition, and realized later that it followed the same lines as the psalm. I attribute this to imbibing the psalm rather than convergent evolution. I also have a tune for the song floating in my head, that I will one day transcribe.
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